1. Setting up tables and chairs in the morning – Ranking: I want to go back to bed.
Come on, it’s way too early to do any heavy lifting!
2. Windex-ing the windows – Ranking: It’s fine, I guess.
Some kid is going to come put their fingerprints all over, anyways.
3. Rolling/folding napkins – Ranking: Why won’t it stop?
Oh, the horror. Oh, the pointy, spoon-y horror. Make it stop!
4. Refilling ice at the drink station – Ranking: Buff AF!
You’ve never had a workout until you’ve carried two full ice buckets across the restaurant at once!
5. Restocking and cleaning condiment containers – Ranking: Is this really that important?
Can’t the server tomorrow do it? Who needs a full bottle of Worcestershire Sauce, anyways?
6. Polishing silverware – Ranking: If you say so.
I mean, it’s not that hard, but like…I don’t wanna.
7. Actually serve and be nice to customers (or “guests,” if you want to be overly nice) – Ranking: Nope.
Oh wait, that’s how we make money….Damn.
8. Making coffee and espresso drinks – Ranking: *Screaming inside*
That’s fine. I didn’t have to greet the three tables that just sat down or run the food that just came out. Not at all.
9. De-gumming the tables – Ranking: Are You Kidding Me?!
It’s not the degrading customers that make you lose faith in humanity. It’s the peope who stick gum underneath the tables. Why…
10. Cleaning and breaking down the (damn) espresso machine – Ranking: I can’t feel my fingertips.
Just go ahead and burn off my fingerprints while you’re at it, espresso machine.
11. Cleaning the restrooms – Ranking: Kill me.
This puts a new meaning to having a “crappy” shift.
12. Pushing tables together and putting chairs on tables at closing – Ranking: Please! I’m out.
Just let me do my work and get out of here and we won’t have any problems. Thank you.